All the wild horses...

The title of this post has nothing to do with the content, so, on with the story... [sorry horse lovers]

OBAMA is leading HILARY in the polls... Um, who the hell is OBAMA?.. OSAMAS brother?... [sorry, that was crap, I realise this] ...Anyway, Yeah, obama...born 1961, he's the US senator for Illinois [ILL A NOY] and... he's a lawyer, baby... ODDS ON 7/2... PLACE YA BETS FOLKS...

Oh, and he's a Democrat...

Hillary, Born 1947 [I thought that said 1974!] ...she's a hard faced woman with neither here nor there dress sense... not to be trifled with... could be funny, if she wins the whole of Louisiana may take up rms and shoot itself...

NOW: Todays news.... urm, that makes me "chortle" with laughter...

"SNOW CHAOS WARNING FOR COMMUTERS"
This is the headline for a possible 1" of snow... ONE INCH... A friend of mine from Minnesota just got back from her family christmas, where they have feet of snow to drive through... FEET LONDON... FEET... It really does amuse me, it's a national joke, surely? 1" of snow and the trains grind [slide] to a halt, the roads see drivers trapped for days!!... Planes are stranded and buses slide sideways into grannies on their power walkers, headed to the shops... One dead Granny, killed by the man...

Lindsay Lohan is a slapper...
Paris is to release 2000 electric cars to the public, people will be able to drive off from multiple points throughout the French capital and leave the cars "anywhere"... in a ditch is my guess, or, on fire upside down... [don't get me wrong, I love one or two french people]

Firms must pay to play radio!.. Bosses from the "performing rights society" say that firms should cough up £120 annually for companies to listen to the radio... GOOD maybe this will stop my HR manager listening to Bangra [spelling baby] at "11" in his office... it's..uh... weird... but I like it, and it makes me want to dance... no, really

Giant cargo ship runs aground! A ship carrying 42,700 "Giants" has run aground in the busy Dover straight today... "They are very big" the coastguard said...


A 999 CALL EVERY EIGHT SECONDS ON NEW YEARS EVE
Londons ambulance crews had to put up with drunken idiots calling 999 every 8 seconds on new years eve. To combat this, they are going to throw any drunken revelers into a pit of cold sick next new years eve, this will be a public spectacle, a representative said. Get your cameras ready folks, and your nose plugs...